My BDSM encounters in the past year have occurred way less often than in the years before that. Prior to my last relationship I would have said that BDSM was an integral part of who I was. To a certain degree I feel that way still, moreso that there are kinks within the spectrum of BDSM that I enjoy and feel that my sex life would not be as complete if they were not there. There are words, phrases, and gestures that are cultivated in the BDSM lifestyle that I respond to very well as well. The friends that I have met there are some of the strongest bonds I have made in my entire life. Not to mention the structure of the actual community is a place where I have found comfort and support before. But I have been forced to reevaluate my relationship with BDSM since my breakup since it was the first real chance I had to do something.
Getting back into the game was expected by many, pushed by some. But I hesitated. I hadn’t been in a real BDSM encounter in so long, my body nor my mind was ready for it. The way I connected with people, the way I judged my sexual partners had changed. Not to mention the ex sort of took over the one place that I met my kinky partners so I purposefully stayed away from the site. I didn’t want to see him flirting or trying to pick up others. Which made it immensely hard to find someone who I would be willing to make that encounter with, not that I was pushing for a new encounter…
Then I had a lovely lady come to me, with no experience but plenty of desire. The roles we play in the real world made me hesitant to make the plunge to top her, but her desire and willingness to experience what my knowledge held made me open up a little. We played together, with another boy, and then another. Then with more discussion and questions answered I made the decision within myself that I would agree to top her. One evening I laid out my instruments on the bed, letting her feel the leather falls on my flogger, testing the paddle on her lightly, letting her run her fingers through the rope, see the play things I would use on my play thing. That was one thing I always enjoyed when I was bottoming, seeing everything that could be used. It always set my mind ablaze and left me with more anticipation in the moment.
I left her in a short nightgown and panties, spread eagle on the bed. I used the rope to keep her legs apart and her arms extended above her head. My fingertips ran over the tender flesh of her inner thighs. She wiggled, I readjusted the rope. I didn’t want any slack. She was to be tied down and stay tied down. I used my hands, and a paddle, at first. I was regaining my footing, and as sure as I was there were still some nerves that needed to be soothed. I looked at her face, eyes closed and biting her lip. She had this beautiful look of anticipation. I placed a toy inside her panties, speed one. A tease. Her body writhed, wanting more. While I teased with the vibrations, but mouth was biting and sucking on her thighs. When I would get a nice bite of flesh and suck inward, upping the bullet speed her body would move, her moans would get louder. I had such a power rush. But that was not where the evening was to be left. I pulled out the prize of the evening, a glass toy with the wahl. While keeping her on edge I gathered what I needed.
With one hand I held the glass toy, teased her with the bulb end of it. She whimpered, her body begging me to just ease it inside her. My other hand danced on her flesh, exploring everything within my reach. Her skin was soft and tender. After teasing for a while I gently pressed the glass into her. I could hear her sigh with pleasure and contentment immediately. I placed the wahl on her clit, the rumbles immediately making her squeal with delight. I softly thrust with the glass until I found the sweet spot. When her body responded in the way that I knew would, with enough stimulation, send her well over the edge. I rocked the glass slowly, with pressure, as I rocked the wahl from side to side on her clit. Her thighs started trembling. Her arms struggled against the restraints. She tried to close her legs but I kept them expertly open, watching as her lips slickened with juice. My shallow consistent thrusts, along with the power of the toy made her noises get louder and louder. Her whole body started moving, and then I felt her pussy start to contract and move against the toy, I continued, persistent to ride the wave. And ride it I did, the power behind her thighs clamped around my head as my teeth laid claim to her tenderness. The moans and whimpers filled the room five times over, her liquid spilling out along the grooves of the toy.
Her body shook in the aftermath. She was deep in the land of contentment and bliss as I unraveled the rope from her limbs. My fingernails traced over her, leaving goosebumps as a trail. When she was ready I eased the toy from her, taking care with all my toys. Her being the most important one. When her mind returned from the orgasm haze she praised me and my skill. She awed over the marks I left on her thighs, and the rope marks on her ankle. She would sleep fantastically that night. And it served for me to get back into the game. On my own terms. So win/win.