Category: Sex Toy Blog

The Good, the Bad, but Never the Ugly

So having dated someone who frequented bars often, and just recently turning 21, I have spent a lot of time this past year in various bars.  Probably about half of those times I was with friends and without an ‘after bar’ companion.  Being a good looking, outgoing, and friendly female that means that inevitably I get hit on.  It probably helps that I usually have my two favorite accessories, my smile and cleavage.  I have a fun time while drinking, and I don’t mind including new friends (or more accurately new men) in my fun.

I am not shy however in stating that I have some standards in my choice of bar men.  Bar men are different than the men I date, or sometimes even different than the men I even choose to look at outside of the bar atmosphere.  I sometimes want the good guy, the guy who is out for a rare night on the town.  It is like you are showing them a different side to life.  You take hold of the night and bring fantasies to life.  I like these guys.  The good guys are good guys for different reasons but the biggest thing that they have in common is that they listen to what you will and won’t do.  These aren’t guys who are out at the bar every Tuesday night, so when you say you don’t do anal with a first time partner they listen.  They listen because they probably wouldn’t have ever thought to put anything up your butt in the first place.

The bad boy is a whole different species.  The bad boy is the one who tries to put it up your butt TWICE after saying you don’t do that with first time partners.  He carries himself with a (sometimes fake) confidence because he has fucked every regular in the bar you are in already.  Most nights you want to steer clear of these guys because they are mostly arrogant assholes who only deliver pleasure half the time.  However the bad boys are the ones that the other half the time will leave you with a memory hotter than sin itself, which makes them worth the trouble.

With all this being said, bar men should NEVER be ugly.  Bar men are not men you bring home to mother.  Bar men are not men who do dinner and then on a walk down Michigan Avenue.  Bar men are men who ignite the fiery passion and make you want to suck, lick, touch, and fuck all night long.  Just because you meet a guy in a bar doesn’t mean he’s a bar man.  Just because he wears a leather coat and rides a Harley doesn’t mean he’s a bad boy either.  Bad boys can wear Ralph Lauren and drive BMWs.  So ladies, listen to the advice, make sure your bar men are hot.  There is absolutely no reason that you should even entertain someone who doesn’t light you up.


(Author’s Note: Bar Men = men you pick up in a bar for sex.)

Can orgasms be complex?

I’ve heard someone say before that orgasms are better than pizza because you can eat a bad pizza but you can never have a bad orgasms. Or something like that. But there are so many different kinds of orgasms and that is what fascinates me.

With my wahl my orgasms are rarely, if ever, subpar. Every time I use it there is muscle spasms, eye closing, lip biting, and delight at the end. Actually, this is the prime reason why it is the toy I use 99.4% of the time I masturbate. The times where I use something else (like the Lelo Gigi recently) in place of the wahl, my orgasms can be smaller. Only shutting my eyes tightly to ride over the waves. Not saying they always are, but they have the possibility to be.

But by far, what I have dubbed complex orgasms, fucking tops the charts. It’s the orgasm where you involuntarily moan/yell/scream/mewl***, your whole body magically feels better, warmer, tinglier, happier; your hands and feet curl and tense up: grabbing at whatever is beneath them, your body moves without a conscious thought behind it. You ride it, and it continues. After one orgasms stops another one has already begun to start, you start to feel younger, and more connected to everything for brief seconds, then you feel the movement subsiding. It leaves you trembling, with eyes closed. You open your eyes, catching a glimpse of the video on the screen in front of you, or a deliciously dirty thought reruns through your mind, and you somehow have one or maybe two aftershock orgasms. Small, but delicious. Perfect way to return to reality. You were gone for at least 2 minutes from first orgasm to last. And you still are weak and trembling. But happy and satiated at least for the next ten minutes.

***I had an ex who LOVED the word mewl in association with sex. I had to add that in.

Getting back into the swing of things

My BDSM encounters in the past year have occurred way less often than in the years before that.  Prior to my last relationship I would have said that BDSM was an integral part of who I was.  To a certain degree I feel that way still, moreso that there are kinks within the spectrum of BDSM that I enjoy and feel that my sex life would not be as complete if they were not there.  There are words, phrases, and gestures that are cultivated in the BDSM lifestyle that I respond to very well as well.  The friends that I have met there are some of the strongest bonds I have made in my entire life.  Not to mention the structure of the actual community is a place where I have found comfort and support before.  But I have been forced to reevaluate my relationship with BDSM since my breakup since it was the first real chance I had to do something.

Getting back into the game was expected by many, pushed by some.  But I hesitated.  I hadn’t been in a real BDSM encounter in so long, my body nor my mind was ready for it.  The way I connected with people, the way I judged my sexual partners had changed.  Not to mention the ex sort of took over the one place that I met my kinky partners so I purposefully stayed away from the site.  I didn’t want to see him flirting or trying to pick up others.  Which made it immensely hard to find someone who I would be willing to make that encounter with, not that I was pushing for a new encounter…

Then I had a lovely lady come to me, with no experience but plenty of desire.  The roles we play in the real world made me hesitant to make the plunge to top her, but her desire and willingness to experience what my knowledge held made me open up a little.  We played together, with another boy, and then another.  Then with more discussion and questions answered I made the decision within myself that I would agree to top her.  One evening I laid out my instruments on the bed, letting her feel the leather falls on my flogger, testing the paddle on her lightly, letting her run her fingers through the rope, see the play things I would use on my play thing.  That was one thing I always enjoyed when I was bottoming, seeing everything that could be used.  It always set my mind ablaze and left me with more anticipation in the moment.

I left her in a short nightgown and panties, spread eagle on the bed.  I used the rope to keep her legs apart and her arms extended above her head.  My fingertips ran over the tender flesh of her inner thighs.  She wiggled, I readjusted the rope.  I didn’t want any slack.  She was to be tied down and stay tied down.   I used my hands, and a paddle, at first.  I was regaining my footing, and as sure as I was there were still some nerves that needed to be soothed.  I looked at her face, eyes closed and biting her lip.  She had this beautiful look of anticipation.  I placed a toy inside her panties, speed one.  A tease.  Her body writhed, wanting more.  While I teased with the vibrations, but mouth was biting and sucking on her thighs.  When I would get a nice bite of flesh and suck inward, upping the bullet speed her body would move, her moans would get louder.  I had such a power rush.  But that was not where the evening was to be left.  I pulled out the prize of the evening, a glass toy with the wahl.  While keeping her on edge I gathered what I needed.

With one hand I held the glass toy, teased her with the bulb end of it.  She whimpered, her body begging me to just ease it inside her.  My other hand danced on her flesh, exploring everything within my reach.  Her skin was soft and tender.  After teasing for a while I gently pressed the glass into her.  I could hear her sigh with pleasure and contentment immediately.  I placed the wahl on her clit, the rumbles immediately making her squeal with delight.  I softly thrust with the glass until I found the sweet spot.  When her body responded in the way that I knew would, with enough stimulation, send her well over the edge.  I rocked the glass slowly, with pressure, as I rocked the wahl from side to side on her clit.  Her thighs started trembling.  Her arms struggled against the restraints.  She tried to close her legs but I kept them expertly open, watching as her lips slickened with juice.  My shallow consistent thrusts, along with the power of the toy made her noises get louder and louder.  Her whole body started moving, and then I felt her pussy start to contract and move against the toy, I continued, persistent to ride the wave.  And ride it I did, the power behind her thighs clamped around my head as my teeth laid claim to her tenderness.  The moans and whimpers filled the room five times over, her liquid spilling out along the grooves of the toy.

Her body shook in the aftermath.  She was deep in the land of contentment and bliss as I unraveled the rope from her limbs.  My fingernails traced over her, leaving goosebumps as a trail.  When she was ready I eased the toy from her, taking care with all my toys.  Her being the most important one.  When her mind returned from the orgasm haze she praised me and my skill.  She awed over the marks I left on her thighs, and the rope marks on her ankle.  She would sleep fantastically that night.  And it served for me to get back into the game.  On my own terms.  So win/win.

What Is An Anal Dildo?

If you enjoy the feeling of anal stimulation, you are now able to get the sensation without having anal sex, by using anal dildo’s instead. You will find that anal dildos are one of the more popular types of sex toys as they allow you to experiment with penetrating your backdoor comfortably and safely.

You are able to use them in solo un, or with a partner if you choose. You can even have them for that ‘special occasion’ or for preparingyourself for anal with your partner. Anal dildos are specially designed for the purpose, and have many features that separate them from regular dildos.

First, the base of an anal dildo has a more flared base which limits how far in they can be inserted. This makes sure something doesn’t get lost. Flared bases also allow it to be strapped on into a harness in some cases for that role reversal experience. Various flared bases have a built-in suction cup so that you are able to place your dildo where you want, and it will stay put.

Anal dildo’s also use a different type of material; they are special materials that are hygienic. This makes them easy to clean and maintain. The materials include glass, metal and silicone, among others.

Generally, anal dildos are smaller than your regular ones too. Compared to the average 1.5-inch wide and 6-inch-long dildo, an anal dildo is usually about 1 inch by 4 inches.


What Are Double-Ended Dildos

When it comes to partner play, the double ended dildo is top of the charts. Although, it won’t matter if you are looking to enjoy bumping with your partner or just checking to see just how deep you can go, these bad boys just look outrageous.

Basically, a double dildo is just that, a special toy that uses the design of two dildo’s combined in the middle to create one long Johnson. Each end has a head, with the average length of a double dildo measuring 10” to 16” long. There are specialty items that measure up to 2 feet or more in length too.

The materials used are flexible and soft, often made from TPR or TPE, which allows for easy flexibility and comfortability no matter how deep you go.

Originally, the double-ended dildos were designed with lesbians in mind, where each woman would insert an end and grind together. Another way they were used are as strapless strap on, where one women would place the toy in her, then use the other end on her partner. Now, these toys are used by all types, even straight couples. It can be used for enjoying joint anal stimulations.

When compared to other toys, there are some lacking features, but due to the size of these bad boys, they’re not likely to get stuck or lost unexpectedly.


What Is A Realistic Dildo?

Okay, so you are on the market for a dildo and seen the term ‘realistic dildo’, but not sure what it means. Don’t feel bad, you’re not alone and this is very common to ask. The difference in a realistic dildo and regular ones are mainly shape and materials used. Instead of just being shape in the form of a penis, they mimic as close as possible, using textures, and skin like materials. There are some that are so realistic, it could be confused for the real deal.

When they make realistic dildo’s, it is common for special material to be used, including UR3 or Cyberskin. These are designed to feel very much like human skin. However, there are other materials used, which tend to have a firm inner core and softer outer layer.

When it comes to design, some will have professional sculptors come in to create lifelike designs. Others, will cast molds of males, including male porn stars. This gives the texture of the real deal, veins included.

The head of the penis on realistic dildos tend to allow for better penetration, G-spot stimulation or even anal. Veins add a natural texture that increase the pleasure, and many designs have a ball sack that can be used for strap-on or clit simulation. If you are wanting the closest thing to a penis, a realistic dildo is it.

How to Cool or Heat Glass Dildos

When you want something a bit more unique for your toy collection, a glass dildo is an option. If you have opted for this, then you may be wanting to use it for a more intense experience by heating it up or cooling it down, after all, those are a couple benefits of having a piece of glass between your legs, right?

There are proper ways of doing this to avoid it breaking, or becoming uncomfortable. This is known as temperature play, and uses your sense of touch to arouse you. You do not want your foreplay ruined by uncomfortable temperatures after all.

Heating it up

The safest way to heat your glass dildo is by letting it set in a bowl of warm or hot water for several minutes. This heats it up, but not too hot. Great for sexual arousal, but can also be used for soothing sore muscles!

Cooling it down

If you enjoy colder play, then you can easily enjoy cooling your glass dildo down too. Simply place it in a bowl of cold water for several minutes. If you want it colder, place ice cubes in the bowl. This cools it down, without the risk of breaking, cracking, etc.

Things to avoid

Never place in the freezer, this could cause it to break. Also, do not microwave as this can lead to it breaking, or having areas hotter than expected and burn you.

To ensure it’s not too hot or cold, test on the inside of your arm or wrist first.



Where to begin?

There’s so much I’ll need to go over but first I’ll just start with an introductory message.

Hi and welcome.  You are going to love this site.  Keep checking back often for my latest updates.